Ladies and Gentlemen:



 3 Minute Hero CDs are available for purchase at Fargostuff.com

 

everyday ninjas
CD release party

 

It's done and it rocks...it's the sophomore effort, the second album, number two in the 3MH catalog, the hardest-driving of the oeuvre, and the gaudiest cover of the 3 Minute Hero discography: everyday ninjas.

We had a blast Friday, May 22, 1998, at the Fine Line in Minneapolis. Thanks to the guys in Unisense for starting the show...thanks also to the 500+ of you who showed up and partied with us, ate some munchies and cake, took the world's ugliest couch off our hands, and won some cold hard (literally) cash to boot.

 


It ain't easy...here are just a few studio shots from the Batcave Sessions. Even more studio pictures can be found here...

 

Teen heart-throb and former drummer of Hanson, Jonathon "Athens" TeBeest, punishes his unwitting drum kit. The name of his drum kit is Apollo 23. Bass player/mountain man Jason Hoffman gazes on in horror.

 

 

"Hi, my name is Jay Kalk and I play guitar and I like walks on the beach in the rain and going to the movies and...and....see this wall of amps? It's worth more than my current life and my next three, if you believe in karma." - Jay didn't write this but he's not here, and since he's my roommate, I can take some liberties.

 

 

Jeff addresses the bug people, recalls a recent "experience," and rants about the shortage of sequined, earth tone, rock-n-roll star clothing...and that's just my interior monologue.

 

 

 

 

     

L. to R.: Bryce looking eerily like Kevin Kline (ah! but playing like Arturo Sandoval!). Eric bears down and manages to look menacing despite his dorky purple fuzzy slippers (what's in Mr. Johnson's pocket?). When the paparazzi start to take shots of me in my overalls and plastering headlines like "Nelson balloons to 400 lbs! Death Imminent!" I get out my coon gun.


Ok, ok, pictures are great, but where are the words and the clips?

Here are a few songs' worth of lyrics -- if you want more, you'll have to buy the damn thing...

 


Valentine's Day (3:29)

music and lyrics: Jeff Nelson
 
Valentine's Day always makes me want to shoot up...
Valentine's Day always makes me want to shoot up your car, your house, your stereo
Valentine's Day always makes me want to shoot up...
Valentine's Day always makes me feel kind of like I'm hysterical
 
Every time I see your face I've got to look up...
Every time I see your face I want to look up your shirt, your skirt, your underwear
Every time I see your face I want to look up...
Every time I see your face I've got to look up definitions of someone who doesn't care
 
Bat your lashes and I swear I'm gonna throw up...
Bat your lashes flip your hair and I throw up my hands in a fit despair
Bat your lashes kiss my cheek and I'll throw up...
Batten your hatches scurvy dogs I'm gonna throw up small cars into the air
 
Things ain't quite what they used to be
No more throbbing, primal telepathy
No more smoky glances 'cross lusty rooms
No more giggly raids on zombie tombs
 
 
Valentine's Day always makes me want to shoot up...
Valentine's Day always makes me want to shoot up your car, your house, your stereo
Valentine's Day always makes me want to shoot up...
Valentine's Day always makes me feel kind of like I'm hysterical
 


Jelly Donut (3:58)

music: Jeff Nelson/Jason Hoffman + lyrics: Jeff Nelson
 
Dawn kisses my eyes then kicks my ass with a whisper then a shout
She screams to me, "Your life's a book!" and I've got to decide,
"What's it gonna be about?!"
My belly jacks my eyelids wide
'Til java cries and stabs,
While locals dwell on Che Guevara
Over huevos and warm Tab
 
He talks too loud! She talks too loud!

You talk too loud! I said aloud!
Please relax! Don't stampede!
Just try to heed my pressing need!
So Soribel, the counter gal, a pale shell, like the clientele
Pointed with painted fingertip
And there before me-stood zip
 
Gotta bite down, gotta bite hard, fire up fear fend off the bone yard
I feel the sweetness between my teeth
I know what I want, I know what I need
 
Gotta get me some of that Jelly Donut
 
Passion carves men out of doughboy pretensions
They put down their books and they walk on hot coals
Donut or lifestyle metaphors defile
The truth of the heat that they feel on their soles
 
Night pokes my eyes with sharpened sticks then prods me in the sack
She screams to me, "Your life's a book,"
I'm a fatboy and a hack
The voice subsides thanks to my cries
Sheep 1, sheep 2...3 and 4
They smirk these woolly nighttime spies
Who know what's at my core


 

Mean Man at the Circus (4:10)

music: Jeff Nelson/Jason Hoffman + lyrics: Jeff Nelson

 

I'm the mean man from the circus
With the handlebar moustache
As black as my soul
With tips that scream panache
I've a thing for blood red coats
And boots up to my knees
Plus a personality
Like a blunt cheval-de-frise

 

I stride betwixt the wagons
Of freaks and hangers-on
They laugh, see me, then wither
'Til my rings are pure neon
Italian families fall
Fish man dives beneath the sea
But black-toothed man sells balls and says
You scare the chimpanzees

 

I'm the mean man from the circus
The one with the black moustache
The one who'd like to see you
As a pile of dust and ash
Because of white lies I was told
I live in carny Hell
If you ever find your gift
Think before you use it well...see


My own hand picked my poison
Slit my throat with old clichés
But I'm happy with my choice
One twenty-fourth of every day
I live a dream of rollercoasters
Dream a life beneath the stars
This job's a perfect fit
Like fat clowns in Shriner cars

 

You must run from him
You must hide from him
Whether you fly or swim
You decide
You must run
You must hide
Try outgun
His Circucide

 

The circus is kaput
The kids have dripped away
The fat lady eats swords
So I poke and yell "touché!"
I pivot, see the black-toothed prune
Laughing at my loss
A well-placed kick and boodabang
It's twine for dental floss

 

I'm the mean man at the circus
The one with the black moustache
The one who'd like to see you
With a bad limp and a rash
Because of black lies I was told
I'm mayor of carny Hell
If you ever find your gift
You better use it well

 

trombone solo: Eric Johnson
obvious issues to take care of: Jeff Nelson



 


 

3 Minute Hero CDs are available for purchase at Fargostuff.com

 

 

 

 

 

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