Sadly, 3 Minute Hero disbanded for good in October of 2000. It was a wild, crazy, wonderful ride that lasted closer to 3 years than 3 minutes...and not nearly long enough. Thanks, guys, for all the fun. Barking Dog Records released two CDs by 3 Minute Hero: bingo (1997) and everyday ninjas (1999). They are still available for purchase on Barking Dog Records' order form page.
3 Minute Hero picked for New Years Bash!
One of Minneapolis-St. Paul's biggest gigs of the year, the Cities 97 New Years Bash, finally settled on a 3-band line-up: Tina and the B-Sides, Tim Mahoney and (hey now) 3 Minute Hero! Look for the first ads to start appearing in Twin Cities media in a few weeks -- total media saturation begins December 1. Forget that other little Minneapolis guy -- party like it's 1999 with us, baby!
In the meantime, get off the couch, brush off the nacho crumbs and come on down to the Fine Line in Minneapolis -- we're there EVERY SUNDAY just for you. Some people call this type of arrangment a "house gig"...we go a little further. We want you to think of this as YOUR HOUSE on Sunday nights -- yes, of course you can wear your big fuzzy Garfield sweatshirt and purple Zubaz. Bring a friend and make your weekend last as long as you can.
When they made each member of 3MH in the beautiful confines of 3MH Laboratories in Akron, Ohio, they didn't make us very good with cameras. I apologize. News without pictures!!! Who's heard of such a thing!? I told Gutenburg that books were a bad idea but do you think he listened? Anyway, the NEWS:
Last week (July 1, 1998) we kicked off at the Red Carpet in St. Cloud, Minnesota (land of sky-tinted waters). Sitting in for a gravely ill Jonathon TeBeest on drums was former KISS drummer Eric Carr. Mr. Carr appeared in full make-up, a nice surprise for the Humpday multitudes.
In a non-performance related incident, the 3 Minute Hero prime collective has pushed back the date for world domination to, "sometime in the year 2000." Ty Andrews, spokesperson for 3MH said, "I can neither confirm nor deny these figures. Now screw off, I'm trying to eat." Sources believe the cause to be related to the break-up of Bruce Willis and his wife of ten years, Demi Moore. Bruce has been closely linked to certain members of 3MH.
We had Thursday off. Trumpet player, Bryce Blilie, took full advantage of the day by moving his computer desk. "I think I like it better over there," said an obviously jubilant Blilie.
I read two chapters from Benson Bobrick's "Angel in the Whirlwind", a thusfar tepid retelling of the Revolutionary War.
Dateline: Friday. We played a new venue: the Uptown Bar & Grill. It was nothing short of a hoot. Trombone player Eric Johnson was heard to have said by the dumpster, "it smells moist out here." When questioned about the incident Mr. Johnson had no comment. We packed the place and played quite loudly but the fire marshal refused to close us down. This is a good omen.
Saturday: July 4th. 3:00 PM came too early for most of us. We rolled into the Eden Prarie Center parking lot groggy with sleep. I was coming off a bad night dreams involving Jason driving speed boats on railroad tracks (whole other story). We played for a bunch of people, most importantly, a whole bunch of our mothers showed up. Even my girlfriend's parents showed up. Eek. The highlight of the show came when the mascot for the Old Country Buffet begin dancing. It was a bee. I don't know how many of you have seen the X-Files movie but I will never look at a bee the same again. The mascot fled following an embarrassing episode in which I ripped off its fake head and sprayed the unfortunate human inside with a ludicrous amount of Raid. Following the Eden Prarie event we sped down to St. Peter, home of the craziest 3MH gigs in the land. Stapled to the back bar are two (2) pairs of Mr. Jonathon TeBeest's underwear and a Ziploc bag full of hair. This hair is from Mr. Eric Johnson who went under the blade of Gordie the last time we were there. Tequila, of course, had nothing to do with Monkeyboy's passivity. Instead of a silent set break the crowd was assaulted (in a good way) by Chopsticks, a drum corp and a whole gaggle of horn players whose collective name I'm ashamed to admit that I've forgotten. It rocked the proverbial casbah. It was a very good week, but then again, most of them are.
In other news the 3MH Personnel Carrier is out of commission for a while. Master cylinders for 1970 International Harvesters aren't as common as they used to be. Even sound tech/bus tech Bob Graff remembers when one could walk down to the Kresge's five-and-dime and pick one up. Of course Bob was also wearing spats until about 1979.
New songs are in the works! Subject matter involves being a spy, getting drunk and reading books, and falling for psychos -- same old, same old.
Here's something to write about if you're bored. We were trying to find all of the musical references in Ninjas the other day and could not trace them all. We've found ones from Santana, Elvis, LGB, Tom Waits etc. Write in what you dig up. Also, if you have any good recipes for baby carrots, I'm all ears. Cravings like that can mean only one of eight things.
Regional media covers Hero in metaphorical fudge frosting
"everyday ninjas" CD release party
It's done and it rocks...it's the sophomore effort, the second album, number two in the 3MH catalog, the hardest-driving of the oeuvre, and the gaudiest cover of the 3 Minute Hero discography: everyday ninjas.
We had a blast Friday, May 22,1998 at the Fine Line in Minneapolis. Thanks to the guys in Unisense for starting the show...thanks also to the 500+ of you who showed up and partied with us, ate some munchies and cake, took the world's ugliest couch off our hands, and won some cold hard (literally) cash to boot.
Congratulations to the folks who won the $300 gold coin door prizes, courtesy of our record label, Barking Dog Records (you'll be hearing from those rabid badgers at the IRS soon...)
This happy couple won coin #1. Chris Wills, the guy on the left, is a senior journalism major at the University of St. Thomas. Lynn Beagley, the lovely female to the right and down a foot and a half, is a high school teacher (health) and gymnastics coach. They had never met before this evening, until Jeff selected them and four other random couples and brought them up on stage for an impromptu competition for the coin. Lynn, fearful of merciless teasing and possible blackmail from her ruthless students, made us promise not to divulge the nature of the competition. OK, Lynn -- let's just say that your winning smile, professional training in human anatomy and gymnastic prowess finally paid off...Let's just say moneymakers were shook.
This is Mike Brandjord, winner of coin #2. He is a student at the University of Minnesota Duluth, studying graphic design. Although he describes himself as a 3 Minute Hero "junkie" he also notes that he is a trumpet player. He was last seen hanging around the stage after hours swapping fascinating mouthpiece and valve oil anecdotes with 3MH trumpet man Bryce Blilie...He says he is going to cash in his coin and blow the whole wad on Miles Davis reissues and Sharpie pens. Mike also enjoys walking around in malls with nothing but a bonnet on.
This vaguely disburbing-looking character is not a cellular phone salesman but an actual pediatrics resident physician at the University of Texas - Galveston. His name is Jon Robert Conti, he describes himself as a "geek," and he looks a whole lot friendlier in his glasses, which he inexplicably removed for this picture. What is the world coming to when Texan mountebanks are gold harvesting at 3MH hoedowns? My heart weeps.
To obtain this spendid CD, ask for it at your favorite music retailer, check out our exhaustive gig calendar and buy it directly from one of us, order it by mailing a check along with the Barking Dog Records order form, or whip out your credit card and cruise over to www.indisonic.com for online ordering. Pick it up, pick it up.
Rock-n-Roll hoochie koo it's scratch-n-sniff album two
Oooh...behind-the-scenes studio shots!
Teen heart-throb and former drummer of Hanson, Jonathon "Athens" TeBeest, punishes his unwitting drum kit. The name of his drum kit is Apollo 23. Bass player/mountain man Jason Hoffman gazes on in horror.
"Hi, my name is Jay Kalk and I play guitar and I like walks on the beach in the rain and going to the movies and...and....see this wall of amps? It's worth more than my current life and my next three, if you believe in karma." - Jay didn't write this but he's not here, and since he's my roommate, I can take some liberties. We bought these kids for twenty dollars and some string. They are now the 3 Minute Hero Lost Orphan Gothic Choir. They look happy considering that their fate consists of mining rich coal from 3MH land holdings outside of Smolensk. Jeff addresses the bug people, recalls a recent "experience," and rants about the shortage of sequined, earth tone, rock-n-roll star clothing...and that's just my interior monologue. Jonathon, Jason and Jay formulate Blender-smooth harmonies during our Car & Driver summer fashion photo shoot. Jason is sporting a local country station T-shirt (Nieman-Marcus: $250.00). Jay is wacky in khaki (Bloomingdale's: $400.00) yet subtly alluring in his "come-get-me" credit card T-shirt (Sax 5th Avenue: $320.00). Lithe Jonathon is ready to spring out of spring with his new sporty hair-do (G. Blister Hair Salon: $85.00) and a daring necklace made of his ancestor's teeth (priceless).
L. to R.: Bryce looking eerily like Kevin Kline (ah! but playing like Arturo Sandoval!). Eric bears down and manages to look menacing despite his dorky purple fuzzy slippers (what's in Mr. Johnson's pocket?). When the paparazzi start to take shots of me in my overalls and plastering headlines like "Nelson balloons to 400 lbs! Death Imminent!" I get out my coon gun.
We're holding out until we hear about the Journey horn deal.
Nathan Christopher, hot off the Minneapolis sitar club circuit, drove up and sat in with us for a day. He also loaned us his tabla (Indian set of two hand drums). Fascinating Star Fact #254: Jay Kalk has broken more strings in the past two weeks than all of the Sitar players in the history of India.
Dave Levine enjoys an intimate moment in the Black Hills with a loved one. Dave came up on the fly from Minneapolis to record some Bari sax licks and to partake in world-renowned 3MH beer-swilling hospitality.
Sainthood update: Jeff Nelson (pictured with tuber) was not canonized in early June due to some bishops' preconceived notions that regular oral hygiene is not a miracle. They're just jealous.